It’s been a while I know… I get on these bulimic episodes where I read all I can about politics, social issues, etc and then I have had enough and I don’t want to know another thing. Maybe because we as a culture don’t move as fast as I would like it to. I enjoy looking through history and seeing how much we have changed over time. Yet, it seems that we haven’t changed too much we have just change the direction we look at.
I try not to dwell on those types of things because I can let it pull me down mentally and it can be hard at times to come out of it. I think it’s a genetic thing, my maternal grandmother had a form of depression and my mother does as well. I also have it and my sister has it in some form, not the blues, but something deeper that allows us to see a much darker side to the world and see suicide as a way out.
My mother used pills to get out of it and I think she still does in some form. I always swore I wouldn’t take pills to help me. Though if I didn’t have a wonderfully ‘up’ person like my spouse, who knows how well I would be able to stick to that. I don’t think my sister takes anything, though she does drink – that could be her pill of choice.
I wasn’t planning on writing this, though I wasn’t really planning anything. But I wanted to let you all know I was still around. I’m not depressed, just taking a break from the world a bit. There are times to speak up and give opinions and there are times to shut up and listen. Right now, I am trying to listen.
I will get back to you on what I hear.
Hear some empathetic vibes of understanding.